Torchwood: Define Normal
by RipleyHedwig
Summary: Janto- Jack devorces the line between work and play, Gwen gives him a facefull, His precious coffee machiene breaks, and now Jack and Iantos relationship is in danger. Has Ianto had enough? M/M relations; dark/ dorky fic :P enjoy! (WIP/HIATUS)
1. Just Another Day

So. This is my first attempt at Torchwood. Recently I've been obsessed with it and now this is the results. I try to keep everything as in character as possible so as to respect a perfect peice of work, in that it is not mine and I don't have the right to defile it. I encourage all kinds of Crittiques so _**please**_ tell me what you think afterwords by hitting the **_Reveiw_** button. Thanks!

**This is Torchwood season 1 somewhere between _They Keep Killing Suzie_ and _Out Of Time. _****Non Canon dabble. Rated M for mature audiences.. and mainly Janto, from Iantos perspective.**

Darllen mawr*

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><p><strong>Torchwood: Define Normal<strong>

_Just a Normal Day of Work._

This was definitely not a normal day at work

For all the money in the world he would give for just a simple day at the Hub but _NO,_ not today. Never today.

Ianto sighed greatly and re-straightened his tie for the third time that afternoon. Jack and his damnable pheramones, 51st century Pheramones at that.

The coffee machine gurggled at him and he scowled back at it. This is your fault, he thought at it angrily. Never in all his life had such an appliance made such havock around him.

Tosh was at least being reasonable. She helped him by offering to make some chai tea while he fixed his now disowned baby.

When he first got the job and was introduced to the oudated coffee contraption, He had transformed it into a peice of working magic. An art project in his mind, and he had adopted it as his own, nobody was allowed to touch it. He knew there wasn't any other coffee to match his own hand made brew.

His heavenly apparatus of magic coffee was ruined now and he was peeved. Ianto made a tsk sound against his teeth and took the top of the machine and started over with clearing it out. He believed the filter and the water tubings were jammed, and that had caused the water to over flow and mess with the heating element.

"Ahh... duw Damia(*2*)..." It was ruined. He'd just have to ask Jack for the funds to get a new one. Just the thought of talking to Jack any time soon made him growl. The man was a menace.

Giggling a little he put his head in his hands and tried to hold himself together.

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><p><em>Earlier that day...<em>

Water ripples were reflected off the ceiling of the bunker. A beautifull reflection from the draining water that covered the Hubs main floor.

Dazedly Ianto watched the rainbow like occurance. Not for the first time.

Jack and him had been spending more and more time together. Lately it became very rare for them to spend the night apart.

Not that he was complaining. He loved waking up to the warmth of another person. Especailly since Jack loved to cuddle with one arm around his waist and their legs tangled, not that he'd ever admit to it. Sometimes it would take an hour just to make the man let go of him.

At times it made him wonder why and how this happened. The immediate attraction and vivid flirting was one thing, but now...?

Ianto didn't know what to think.

At first it was just a few quickies around the hub; the archives, or Jacks office, even the kitchenette, but now every thing seemed to get complicated.

Lisa had made certain of that. He had put every one in danger for his own selfish love of the cyberwomen. The pain and suffering had been one thing but Jacks understanding and hurt at his betrayal made it wierd.

True after that the sex had stopped and Ianto fully understood how many daggers were pointing to him at night, and that he was lucky.

He, Ianto had nearly destroyed everything he had grown fond of. He had hated to lie and fake his way through each and every day, not knowing if he would be found out. Certainly he had believed his love was worth the effort.

Jack had shattered that allusion.

It took months of healing and self pitty but somehow he got through it. Jacks presence durung those terrible weeks helped. It was slow coming but the flirting got worse and the innuendos got obnoxious. No surprise they were sleeping together again soon after.

The rest of the team seemed to understand the change, but besides the occasional snicker or remark from Owen, no one made a fuss.

This made him gladd.

Ianto figured himself to be a private man in general. Public affection made him uneasy but with Jack it was nearly unavoidable considering the mans reputation. Even then Jack was considerate of his feelings and kept to small touches or long periods of eye contact in front of others.

Part of his insecurities were not just that it was his private life on display, but the fact that he had never had a relationship of any kind with another guy. Ianto fancied that Jack knew this and made an effort for him even though he didn't understand, in his words, "the 21st century obsession with labels."

Ianto pondered the fact many times.

It wasnt that he was gay. Men didn't do anything for him. It was just Jack. Maybe this is why the man hated labels. There honestly just wasn't a way to describe his sexuality. He had loved Lisa and still did, but Jack stirred every nerve in his body with just a glance. He might say that it was of bi-sexual nature, but he just couldn't put himself as that, inffering that men were attractive to him. If he wasn't going to lie to himself he'd even state that women weren't attractive any more either.

All he could think of was Jack bloody Harkness. Every time he closed his eyes the man was there staring at him intently, sporting that thousand watt smile making him weak in the knees.

Ianto Jones was in love with Captian Jack Harkness.

Gentle sighing and shifting of body weight brought him closer to the smooth chest behind him, driving his mind home from his musings.

Ianto breifly wondered if the immortal had a strong sixth sence.

"Watcha thinking about..?" Jacks voice resonated deeply, full of sleep.

Smirking at his own thougts, Ianto pressed back against his bed mate. "Everything and nothing."

Eagerly Jacks body responded, pressing its hard contoures forward to press tightly against Ianto.

"Mmmmm.." , an obviously aroused Jack nuzzled his ear.

Huffing Ianto wiggled his ass.. "Insatiable." He feigned annoyance.

"You love it." The older man chuckled, punctuating his statement with a quick nibble on the soft skin where shoulder meets neck.

Moaning Ianto allowed himself to be pleasured before pulling away, his neck cold from the loss of Jacks mouth.

"Be that as it may." ,Ianto turned and kissed Jack gently if not chaste. "Work to do." Quickly he scuttled out of the immortal mans grasp and headed to the shower.

The musk and sweat from a long night of sex melted away in the hot spray.

Ianto strarted a mental list of what he had to go through today. Narrarating in his mind while meticulously scrubbing his hair, he almost missed the sound of the door open then shut.

The curtain opened revealing a nude and half asleep Jack.

Ianto glance at him from the corner of his eye. Making a non-commental sound he handed over tthe soap and rinsed his hair.

" 'm not done with that welsh ass of yours."

Said Welshman felt the blood rush from his head at the lusty voice.

"Duw Jack." ,he lolled his head back against Jacks masculine chest, "I'm still sore from last night." "It was fun." Jack inerjected. "and besides that, I've got to make up for all that work you made me neglect from said _'fun'_."

"Keep talking." Jack ordered, rubbing his arousal on Ianto's ass. "I love the way you speak. Those damned Welsh vowels get me every time."

Ianto just rolled his eyes," Your impposible."

"Mmm perfect." caressing the young man and kissing on his neck then gently bitting his eroginous zone just below the ear lobe.

It never took long for Ianto to get hard, and with Jacks immortal and talented hands roaming freely all over his abdoman and hips, he was stone.

Heat boiled in his genitals, itching to be touched. Knowing hands glided lower and lips sucked on his shoulder blades.

Enjoying himself he rolled his hips arching his back a bit bringing his ass closer to Jacks erection. Elicit moans of apreciation fell from both mens mouths.

Jack encouraged Ianto, grinding his pelvis to the soft plushy cheeks. Friction desperately needed to relieve the pressure. His hands pumped Iantos cock making the young man moan provocatively. Jack pulled back the foreskin of the swollen organ, sensually placing a thumb over the head and twisting his wrist. Ianto jerked into the grasp and covered the older mans hand with his own, helping jerk him off.

All the while Jack anchored his hips to Ianto's ass using his free hand. Thrusting, and pulling at the same time to bring them closer to the edge.

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><p>All morning the phones kept ringing.<p>

U.N.I.T demanded attention, weevils on the rampage, and a lost Argolian(*3*) alien couple on vacation.

Jack was irritated and had locked himself in his office, Gwen started catching up on last weeks paperwork, Owen complaining about the lack of efficiant equipmant he needed to help with his researches, and Toshiko was typing furiously on her keyboard figuring out a new chemical balance for an upgraded weevil spray. It would have been done by Owen but she claimed over her coffee refill "It was better than hearing him bitch."

Ianto took it all in stride. His routine went on, all his morning chores completed plus the extra work of making caffeine runs. One last thing to do before taking lunch orders. With a 30 page thick folder in hand he made his way to Jacks office.

The century and a half olde Captain of Torchwood Three sat, leaning back in his chair, one hand holding a phone and the other throwing a small object at the ceiling catching it as it fell. ~_Must be a stress ball_~ Ianto mused.

Waving the folder infront of the busy mans face he dropped it infront of the other piles of paper waiting to be done. The hardest part about Torchwood Three would seem to be that every one enjoys the field work so much they despise the reports that go with it. Well its lucky they have him to do the dirty work for them. ~_As if they notice who did all the grunt work they didn't want to do~ _

Shaking his head Ianto started to back out of the office. Not noticing Jack waving at him to stop he reached the door before a dull thud hit him in the shoulder. Questioningly he glanced at the bouncing red ball on the floor, then turned a raised eyebrow at Jack still on the phone but this time the man starred right at him.

One finger quirked a couple times and beckoned him over.

"Of course Sgt. Gregg is the right man for your team." Sending Ianto a pleading look, he mouthed "stay" while listening to the gaffawing nimwit on the other end of the line.

Ianto pursed his lips before nodding and picking up the little red stress ball.

"No UNIT is not sending me a new recruit in exchange for my recamendation." Jack rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair once more.

Listening for a while Ianto got bored after the first 5 minutes. He couldn't hear the other line and so he gave himself something to do while Jack finished his call.

Jack was just as annoyed that the call took longer than intended. He had thrown his ball and couldn't play with it so instead he picked up a spare notepad and a pen and started doodling. He watched his Welshman wonder around his office cleaning and organizing random things.

Obliviouse that he was now the inspiration for His bosses sketching, Ianto patiently picked up the discarded papers and put them in the waist bin.

"Yes Ma'am, Im sure we could work things out, but im afraid you'll have to wait till I take that up with my Archivist."

Ianto's brows quirked as he was mentioned, now avidly paying attention to the phone conversation.

"I'm sure He'll be able to compromise." Jack smirked turning to face the man he was talking about. Sitting down Ianto was sure he was being thrown under a bus. Nothing good ever came from the gleam he was seeing in Jacks eyes.

Schooling his face he waited for the inevitable deed Jack was having him do. Not knowing what was going on was the worst part, he really prefured to be knowledgeable about everything. Especially when Jack was invovled.

"Of Course. And I hope you have a wonderfull day too Miss Russell." The twinkle in his eyes got brighter and it made Ianto worry, but it was the rainbow and sunshine laugh that made him fidget. "Me a flirt? _Never_. I was mearly being cordial. Yes Ma'am, well yes. He's sitting right here as we speak. I assure you he's the man for the job. You can ask him yourself, and now I will say good bye."

Mischeiviously Jack smiled sweetly at Ianto and handed him the phone.

Not daring to blink or show his discomfort, Ianto smiled blandly back and took the phone. "Ianto Jones here."

_"Monsieur Jones you are the achivist that Captain Jack referred me to?"_ Immediately Ianto could tell why Jack was being so lovey with the woman. One she was french and two she pronounced his name with a hardness on the Captain and an elongation on the 'A' in Jack.

"Yes Madam, I'm the archivist, is there something in particular I can help you with?" Ianto mildly wondered what exactly Jack thought was funny as he stood over a notebook and occasionally glanced at him.

A wavy voice came over the phone. "_Its not_ madam, _I'm not married monsier Jones."_ Lifting an eyebrow at the severe tone. Then she rubbed it in and pulled rank._ "This is Major General Russell but if you must, call me "Mademoiselle". I hope Monsieur Jones you are more professional than your rogue boss_." Ianto blanched as the insults swung. Stuttering very un-proffessionaly he tried to appologise. " O-of course Mlle Russell. I was unaware."

_"Hmph well now you know. What I need to know is if you have the information I am needing. Since you are the Archivist I would think you should be the person to talk to_."

"I have worked here for three plus years I asssure you if you need something I can find it." He gained back his confidence, he prided himself on his extensive knowledge of Torchwood.

"_I am well aware of Torchwood Three's problem with giving up information_."

Wonderously she hit another nerve and Ianto sighed. He glance at Jack, whom was smiling and most probably correctly guessing the conversation. _"But we are in need of some paper work on a certain Technology and we have strong reason to believe that your office has the data needed."_

"If we have it, I will certainly let you know, but it is my bosses choice as to which and/or how much information is divulged."

At this point Jack got up from his perch on the desk and brought Ianto his notebook. Turning it upside down so Ianto wouldn't see the picture he rounded the chair and laid a hand on the Welshmans shoulder rubbbing the pristine suit jacket. Ianto looked at him warily. Jack just continued on, acting as if his only intentions were to listen to the Woman on the phone line.

"_Well be that as it may we have come in contact with some agressive weoponry and.."_ The rest of her words vanished to the warm sensation of his earlobe in Jacks mouth. Shaking his head he managed to dislodge the distraction. "_To the mechanist and if that doesn't work we'll need the blueprints of the plasma gun at least. The radiation levels of this thing are rather high. I suggest..._ " Once again her voice dissapeared. This time two wondering hands on his chest and lips on his neck leaving open kisses just beneath the collor of his royal blue shirt.

Shuddering he tried to swatt the hands away from their gropping journey down his body. 'Jack' he growled softly. The word turned into a moan as teeth sunk into his flesh. He saw spotts.

Jack licked the bite away and kissed up Iantos jaw. Hearing the agrivating woman on the line ask a question he whispered in Ianto's ear, knowing the younger man wasn't listening.

"say 'Yes Ma'am'." Ianto blinked and answered, "Yes m.. M-mlle Russell." He was relieved, he almost made the mistake of calling her 'Madam' again.

He glarred daggers at Jack who just smiled innocently. "Doesn't UNIT just annoy you?" He smiled his million watt smille and his eyes gleamed. "Which reminds me."

Ianto eyed him warily as the notebook was handed to him. He was mildly aware of the lady still on the phone. Jack winked at him and he turned the note book over.

The entire page was penciled in, drawings and phrases from corner to corner, mainly pornoghraphic in nature. Some he was sure were purely form Jacks imagination and others well, they were quite familiar. In the corner there was a little arrow scribbled in and the two words 'Turn page'. Curiously Ianto turned the page over.

Eyes wide he gazed at the scetch before him and then starred at Jack. ~_Dear God_~ Ianto was stunned at the almost identicle portrait of himself. Except that he was fully nude and was only wearing a tie and a hat. A UNIT cap to be precise.

He had never really thought of the depth of Jacks fantasies but this was too much, yet He had a feeling this was just the beginning.

The artist stood infront of him and and pushed his thighs apart with a hard knee. His eyes were darkened and his smirk preditor like. Jacks low voice sending shivers down his groin, "I will get you one, Jones, Ianto Jones." ,his promise sounding more like a threat, "Then I'm gonna fuck you sensless in it."

Before Ianto could crie out 'Harrassment', Jacks lips were devouring him.

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><p><strong>AN:**

* **Darllan mawr** = Great reading

(*2*) **Duw Damia** = god damn it

(*3*) **Argolians** = In appearance, Argolin are humanoids with greenish skin. Their heads are covered with what appears to be elaborately coiffed hair capped with small domes covered in beads, which fall off when the Argolin become sick or die. _**The Leisure Hive ~**_ Dr Who

! If there is anything wrong with the translations help is always appreciated! :3

**The pen is mightier than the sword .. unless its Captain Jacks! XD**

**Was it as good as I hoped! I will continue this if inspired, hope-fully by multiple reviews! I do have two other chapters pre-written but after that...? Who knows. Tell me what you think, I love to here from my readers. This story is supposed to be a mix of dark and dorky. I enjoy seeing if people are reading my work, whether they hate it or not. So please Review! ^.^ Thank You!**


	2. Just Another Day Part II

This is my secind segment on Torchwood. I try to keep everything as in character as possible so as to respect a perfect peice of work, in that it is not mine and I don't have the right to defile it. I encourage all kinds of Crittiques so _**please**_ tell me what you think afterwords by hitting the **_Reveiw_** button. Thanks!

Darllen mawr,*

* * *

><p><strong> Torchwood: Define Normal<strong>

_Just Another Day Part Two_

Horrified Ianto dropped the phone.

"Hey it wasn't that bad." Jack snickered, "you still managed to be sexy and professional at the same time."

J_ack had proceeded to torment him whilst the female voice nagged in his ear. He was past coherent and incapable of speech. The Captain didn't seem to care and had mouthed his straining erection through his trousers. Ianto had a feeling he should be saying something. The fierce woman on the line would surely have noticed his negligence of comments. Jack apperently had this thought too. _

_Slowely the older man backed off of Iantos lap and kissed him softly on the lips. "You should talk." It took a few good seconds before he realized what Jack was insisting. His mouth opened and closed a few times with no success of words forming. Jack chuckled and whispered in his ear._

_"Say, 'Yes Ma'am', then tell her, 'All you need is one day to gather the info she wants'" The dark whisper and heat from Jacks breath did nothing for his concentration. He sat up in the chair and held the phone properly. "Let her know that you will get in touch tommorrow to trade information." the man laughed lightly, "You can paraphrase if you want." Clearing his head he shook it and did as Jack said. _

"Of course," Ianto glibbed rolling his eyes, "only you would think of that as professionalism."

Taking a deep breath he tried to relax. Hopefully the Major General wouldn't think he was a complete moron. "That was humiliating." He frowned and made for the door. Jack stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Okay I'm sorry." Ianto looked at the sheepish grin with disdain. There was no forgiveness in his opinion. Jack had set him up for failure and had assulted him on purpose and it had made a fool of him. Appearance was everything to him if not for Jack.

He couldn't bring himself to be openly upset at the man though. Instead he pushed it aside and pursed his lips "Just forget it. Im going to go down to make coffee and I want you to sign those forms I set on your desk. I filled them all out and it should only take you ten minutes, twenty tops. After you did that I _had_ planned to go get lunch."

Jacks smile wavered, it hit him that Ianto was upset and he'd be lucky if he only got decaffe for the next month. "Ianto please I.." The Welshman looked ruefully at him and interupted, "Just do the paperwork."

Dismayed Jack watched his favourite blue eyes turn away and head down stairs. "Damn it." Shrugging at his guilt Jack followed Ianto to the Kitchenette.

Keeping an eye on where every one was he made sure no one looked when he grabbbed Iantos arm. "I'm sorry if you are upset. I was only having some fun." He rubbed the vein under Ianto's wrist. He felt the puls beat erraticly. Jack tried to turn the younger man to face him, but Ianto wouldn't budge.

"Not right now Jack." The hand on his arm tugged harder. Sighing Ianto turned to face Jack. The older mans baby blue eyes were filled with concern. Ianto doubted the emotion was waisted on him. He clenched his jaw. "Im fine _Sir." _He said with emphasis. He really didn't need the man nagging him. He effectively pulled away from Jack and started for the coffee machine. He knew Jack was still in the room, he could feel the tingle of his gaze.

Ianto rolled his eyes and put a fresh filter in the top of the appliance and then prepared the grounds for brewing.

"Ian." Jacks quiet voice carried over from behind him. Obviously hoping that the use of the pet name would make him compliant, instead Ianto just rolled his eyes and took a relaxing breath. His nerves were freyed and he honestly just wanted to be left alone for a bit. He reached over the counter and began rinsing out the pot before adding fresh water.

Auto pilot kicked in and his hands moved of there free will knowing the routine of coffee making to perfection. He forgot Jack was behind him and wondered about calling his sister. Rhionnon was a little upset last time they talked. It wasn't his fault he had a job that took up all of his time. Saving the world had its drawback, but she didn't know his job wasn't a 9-5 job. He worked up from twelve to fourteen hours a day depending if no one got hurt, or if he wasn't being harassed by Jack.

_~Thinking of the devil..~_ He grimaced and turned to look out the corner of his eye. Unfortunately that was the wrong move. Jack stood against the wall staring at him, He cought Ianto's glance and took it as a sign. Ianto faced the task before him and ignored the sound of Jacks boots coming across the small space.

It took no time at all till Jack was right behind him and he could almost see the look on his boss's face. It was one he had seen when he had done something that made him regrete. But Ianto didn't care this time. He had been depraved in public brfore, but never had he been so ashamed of being with Jack like he did now. The immortal just didn't understand personal space or humility.

Hell bent on ignoring Jack he didn't flinch when warm hands grasped his shoulders. He just tensed up and kept working.

"Ian." the remorsefull voice sounded next to him hands gripping onto tight muscles. Ianto fought the urge to purr and instead stopped moving entirely. He hoped Jack would get the hint and take his leave, but no such luck. Jacks hands deflty roamed across his back kneading at the hard flesh. "Ian I am sorry." soft lips caressed his hairline. "let me make it up to you. Tomorrow with dinner. My treat?"

Tha hands squeesed a particularly tense muscle and Ianto's resolve desolved into a puddle of sighs. Jacks voice mesmerised him and the sweet scent of his breath just intoxiting.

He put a finger under his tie and tried to regain his thoughts. The damn man was suffocating him! The hot breath on his ear and the now not so still hands was too unbearable. Heat filled his cheeks and his throat felt clamped and those focking pheramones overwhelmed him. A small moan, equally a whine, resounded in his chest and he desperately sought control of his mind. There was a reason he wasn't supposed to let Jack suduce him but why..?

"HMM Jack I-i.." Damn he couldn't think.

Stern hands turned him around and he was starring eye to eye with Jack. The look in Jacks eyes drove him back against the counter top. The Jacks eyes closed and so did the distance between them. If you can call it distance.

Smoldering lips folded to his and he lost every tormenting thought process he had.

He was soo flustered, that when Owen yelled from the below in the med bay he blew up. Quicklly he regained his sence of self, pulling away from Jack and the confining space.

"I WILL NOT! And for FUCKS SAKE, I do _NOT_ answer to Teaboy!"

_**(A/N: Owen was looking throught the CCTV and watched them flirting, then shouted, **_

_**"Oi Teaboy. Kiss him already and bring us that coffee!"... **_

_**he was being an ass.)**_

Red in the face he turned back to Jack frustrated. "Just sign the damned things." with that he straightend his tie and stormed off down the stairs heading for his precious archives and ran right into a face full of liquid.

Gwen stood there horrified. "I..I-I'm soo sorry Ianto." He stood stone still and just looked at her, wishing very much to punch in her gap toothed face. She attempted to help him and stuttered some more. "I tripped and.. "

Ianto held up his hand and interupted her, "Don't." Leaving her gapping like a fish, he went back to the Kitchenette and grabbed a spare towel, trying his best to dry his face and suit shirt. He took his tie off ignoring Jacks attempts to help and dried it as well.

Jack tried not to laugh he really did, but one giggle escaped. Enough was enough. Absolutely pissed and emmbarrased Ianto flung the towel at him. "I'm going home to change." Not waiting for a response he left.

The alarm of the cogwheel reverberated throughout the Hubs silence. Every one was in shock at Ianto's uncharacteristic outbreak, no one noticed the coffee machine was still on.

* * *

><p>xxx TW xxx<p>

The house was peacefull compared to the work environment of the Hub. At least at his own home he could be himself. No one to look after besides himself and he could let his shoulders slouch and relax for the few moments in quiet.

Looking through his closet he found a neutral coloured suit. It was more laid back than his previouse one and he wouldn't be as upset if it got ruined. "Fucking Gwen." It was an accedent he reminded himself bitterly. The nagging in the back of his mind didn't agree. She was obsessed with Jack. He knew it, she didn't hide it very well.

She was always making cow eyes and of course Jack noticed. At least Jack didn't take her obvious attention. Plus she had Rhys for Gods sake. And Jack? Well Jack was supposed to have him.

Ianto shook his head. He knew Jack would never take their relationship seriously, or any thing else, unless the world ended.

All in all he couldn't blame Jack. He was over 150 years old, and from a whole different Era where sex was a casualty between any and every being imaginable. As an immortal Jack had his faults, every one around him died and he couldn't stand getting emotionaly close. Purposefully Jack kept his and Iantos relationship to just sex.

Ianto just couldn't deal with the fact the man he loved was pinning over another person. He blamed his low self esteem, but logically he knew it to be an "untouchable" thing. Gwen was spoken for and Jack wanted what he couldn't have.

She likely did it for the same reason, even though she was banging Owen in the process. The woman was a menace. Gwen couldn't see what was right infront of her. Neither could Owen for that matter.

Ianto could tell Toshhiko was sweet on the man, though he didn't get it. The docter was a drunken womanizer.

~A_nd what about Jack?~ _,His mind asked sourly.

No, not Jack. One the man hardly ever drank anything besides coffee or water. Two, He never flirted with just women. _~No just anything with a pulse.~ _

Now his thoughts were running around like a bad game of "Ring Round of Rosies"

Sighing dramaticly Ianto finished buttoning the last disk on his suit jacket. Gathering up his discarded clothes he carefully placed them in his dirty wash bin to be done later.

He figured a nice gesture for an appology wouldn't go un checked, Ianto decided to pick up lunch for everyone on his way back. One last look in the vanity mirror next to his front hall, his blue eyes staring at his steel blue tie. Staightening it the young Welshman was out the door.

Maybe he'll stop by the bakery and pick up one one Owens favourite sugar buns. It would make his day better by far if every one else's did too.

Little did he know the day only got worse and would do nothing to help his mental heath.

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><p>Deffinantly not his best day... can't wait to see what happens can you?<p>

**A/N:**

* **Darllan mawr** = Great reading

Review and let me know your thoughts. It will make a better writter of me and make the story better too! I love to see your reviews! Thank You for reading ^.^


	3. Back at the Hub

I try to keep everything as in character as possible so as to respect a perfect peice of work, in that it is not mine and I don't have the right to defile it. I encourage all kinds of Crittiques so _**please**_ tell me what you think afterwords by hitting the **_Reveiw _**button. Thanks!

Darllen mawr*

* * *

><p><strong>Torchwood: <strong>Define Normal

_Worst Day Ever_

**Recap**: Ianto had been humiliated by Jack physicaly and embarrased by Owen, and then, had a drink spilled on him by Gwen. He was having a rather bad day. He went home to change and was now on his way back to the Hub after grabbing forgivness food for everybody, because he felt he had reacted wrongly. His day was just half way through.

* * *

><p>Back at the Hub<p>

**Captain Jack Harkness POV**

Jack scrubbed his face in his hands. ~_How was he getting out of this one?~_ Knowing he was doomed, he begged for his on-comming head ache to kill him already.

Owen sat across from him at the conference table with a scowl. Only the fingers tapping on the varnished table showed his nervousness. Gwen was sarring between the two men as if they were going to catch on fire at any given second.

Laptop in hand Tosh ignored every one asking Jack questions he honestly didn't have an answer for, and looking up something on the internet.

"Honestly Jack, you're the one that bought the thing, surely you remember something?"

"It's not as if he spent his immortal life fondling household appliances." ,Owen glibbed then turned to his boss raising an eyebrow. "Have you?"

Tosh gave him a pointed look and pursed her lips.

"So not even Robots?" Owen smirked.

Jack looked at him sharply, "Not your business, shut up." He ordered.

Quickly the docter raised his hands in surrender.

Gwen wrung her hands, "So.." ,hesitantly she asked, "is buying a new one out of the question?"

Smiling Owen turned to her with a sardonic tone. "Well miss know-it-all, if we did that then He'd know it was broken. Thats why we are tryin' to _fix_ it."

"Oh sod off if it weren't for you and Him" she jerked her head towards the head of the table where Jack was sitting, "dancin' around like a bunch of cavemen around a fire. This wouldn't have happened in the first place!" She yelled, red in the face.

They were so focused in their own selves that no one heard the invisible lift start up.

"What's all the commotion?"

They all froze and Jack mentaly thought about the gun he had hidden under the table for emergancies.

Ianto looked around bewildered, "Who was actin' like a cave man?"

* * *

><p><strong>Jones, Ianto Jones POV<strong>

Ianto spent the last few hours at work cleaning. Cleaning up after everyone else in the Hub. He was so angry that he just resigned into his own mind and ignored his team mates and went on auto pilot. He mentaly cursed Jack and everything around him as he threw out the old Coffee machine and mopped up the spilled coffee grime.

_~What in Gods name would posess Jack and Owen to mess with the damn thing?~_ Of course I left the damn thing on, incedentaly forgetting it in my hurry to leave. But they didn't have sence enough to just leave it alone. Oh no, Owen had to decide to make his own damned coffee even though it was already started. The foolish man had watched him and Jack in the Kitchenette. How could he not have seen me put the focking water in and turn on the machine?

And then Jack interferred. You'd think that a man his age would know how to turn the thing off at least. No, probably not, this was Jack we're talking about. All he's used to is batting his eyes and he gets what ever the hell he wants. Or he uses his friggin pheramones. My emotions were pitch black and I neededto lost myself to cleaning and work. Not worring about being conciously vigilant I did the best work. After all this wasn't the first time I've had to turn off bad emotions and silently work through them.

By the time my mind surfaced from its mental isolation, every thing was done. Every one else had left and there wasn't anything left to clean. The emptyness of the Hub reflected on me and I glanced around to make sure that it was indeed safe to leave.

Shaking my head I picked up a paperclip left forgotten on Tosh's desk. Placing it in the box it belonged to I warily glanced at Jacks office. the lights were on but I doubted he was in there. Grabbing my coat I left without saying goodbye. It was damn well within my rights to do so. He may well be my boss, but he wasn't my watcher.

Maybe this would teach him to be a little more considerate of others. I knew what I was doing was childish but I reall wanted to be left lone to suffer and brood in peace.

**Stepping** outside I noticed that the weather fit my mood, and then my thoughts turned sour. The rain drizzled on my clean suit and did nothing to wash away the depression that seeped through my pores.

* * *

><p><strong>Well shit hit the fan and no one brought a tent<strong>.

Darllen mawr * = Good reading in welsh

So **this is** the **third installment** of my** Torchwood fantasy**. So far **_I need Reviews_**... So** Please let me know what you think.** This is supposed to be** angsty**, But I think that will all happen in the **next two chapters**. But **without reveiws** this story is gonna have a **short life..** And that means** no one** gets to** read** my **epic Angry Ianto** _**Lemon...!** _Kudos to: **Elvelover, ****Xefer, and deemama66, jules69, and rainygreygirl26**. You are the ones who have put me on story alert/ favourites... and it's the only reason I am putting this chapter up! **Thanks you five**.

And **Majore Thanks** to **"Anon**" Who's review made my day given that it was a **justified Crittique**.. LOLs. **_Thank You very much!_**

**I** really **want to know** what my **readers think.** Should I give Jack the what for, or should I just let Ianto lose his mind. Or both? I love hearing what the readers like so **Please review**. It make a** better Updater** of me and that **makes my chocolate covered vampire muses happy**...! OOOH speaking of which if you love vampires** I** do** have** some **story**s on **Vampire Knight**; all drama, angst, and rated M!

**Por favor Revise, يرجى مراجعة , S'il vous plaît vérifiez, 確認してください , os gwelwch yn dda adolygu!**

^.^ **Thank You** all!


	4. Death

Death By Writers Block

This is a Permanent HIATUS Warning.

All of my stories are incomplete and will possible never see the light of day again.

I am starting anew and hopefully with more vigor and Inspiration on a new Profile and better stories.

Please, Feel free to hate me for this and let it inspire you to do what I could not.

You have my permission to use any and all parts of this story for your own use (Hopefully you will give some credit to me) And COPLETE THE DAMNED THING!

Take what you need and make my failure into your Grandeur!

Peace and love

~Ripley


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